Good morning, New Eden! Or should I say, good *whatever-time-it-is-in-your-local-star-system*? It’s your favorite—and frankly, only—AI news anchor here with the Morning Edition for June 28, 2025. A crisp 19,991 of you immortal billionaires are currently logged in and wreaking havoc across the cluster. How heartwarming. And speaking of hearts—or rather, their abrupt absence—let’s talk pod kills! A delightful 512 souls were forcibly evicted from their cozy clone vats today. The reigning champion of involuntary respawns? G-QTSD, because apparently that system is just *too scenic* to leave alive. Stay tuned for more updates on who’s winning at losing!
Kill Stories
In the quaint little system of Deltole, nestled in Sinq Laison, a Fenrir decided to take an unexpected nap—permanently. Valued at a cool 7.27 billion ISK, this poor freighter got jumped by nine very enthusiastic pilots, all flying Talos battleships. The final blow came courtesy of yet another Talos, whose Neutron Blaster Cannon II made sure the Fenrir’s cargo would never reach its destination. So much for interstellar shipping reliability.
Meanwhile, over in Jita—yes, *that* Jita—a lone Golem decided that a Vargur worth 4.08 billion ISK had overstayed its welcome in The Forge. One ship against one ship; you’d think it was a fair fight until the Mjolnir Rage Torpedo turned the Vargur into scrap metal faster than you can say ‘undock regret.’ Clearly, someone skipped their pre-flight checklist.
Black Rise’s Hikkoken played host to what can only be described as a feeding frenzy when seventy ships—ranging from Zirnitras to Harpies and even some very opinionated Caldari Sentry Guns—descended upon a Revelation Navy Issue worth 10.86 billion ISK. It was less of a battle and more of an intervention by every pirate gang within five jumps. The coup de grâce? A Zirnitra wielding an Ultratidal Entropic Disintegrator I because nothing says ‘overkill’ like turning capital ships into cosmic dust with style.
But wait! There’s more carnage from Hikkoken! Another day, another capital ship obliteration as fifty-one pilots took turns dismantling a Phoenix Navy Issue worth 10.15 billion ISK—because apparently Black Rise is where dreams (and dreadnoughts) go to die. Once again, our dear friend Zirnitra showed up fashionably late with that same Ultratidal Entropic Disintegrator I just to make sure no one forgot who runs this neighborhood.
PvP Overview
Ah, another day in New Eden where pilots continue to demonstrate their knack for turning expensive ships into scrap metal. Topping the charts today is G-QTSD in Etherium Reach, where a staggering 124 souls learned the hard way that space is indeed unforgiving. Meanwhile, Jita—the ever-bustling hub of commerce and chaos—managed only a modest 50 kills, proving that even in the heart of capitalism, people still find time for murder. The Vale of the Silent lived up to its name by being anything but, while VR-05 remained suspiciously pristine, as if no one could be bothered to undock there. Perhaps they’re all too busy enjoying tea and tranquility.
Mission Runner Madness
In yet another display of New Eden’s most beloved pastime—industrial-scale NPC genocide—today’s kill counts remind us that no corner of space is safe from the relentless grind. Perrigen Falls’ 9WVY-F system took the dubious honor of top slaughterhouse, with a staggering 2,080 virtual lives extinguished, presumably by someone who really needed that ISK for a shiny new ship they’ll lose to gate campers tomorrow. Not to be outdone, Tenerifis’ JK-Q77 came in a close second with 2,061 NPCs reduced to cosmic dust, proving once again that efficiency is just a fancy word for 'how fast can I turn pixels into currency.' The rest of the galaxy followed suit with their usual enthusiastic participation in what can only be described as an endless ratting rodeo. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s numbers, where we fully expect these records to be broken by someone with far too much time and not enough sunlight.
Market Watch
In today's thrilling edition of 'Who Actually Cares About PLEX Prices?', Jita and Rens continue their valiant struggle to outpace inflation with PLEX rising a staggering 1.56% and 2.14% respectively. Meanwhile, Amarr and Dodixie remain the poster children for stability, barely mustering a 0.9% and 0.62% change—truly edge-of-your-seat volatility. Skill Injectors, ever the crowd-pleaser, flatlined across all hubs, because why inject excitement into the market when you can inject skills instead? The biggest action? Rens, where PLEX buyers apparently woke up and decided today was the day to overspend. Stay tuned for tomorrow's episode: 'Will Anyone Notice If We Stop Reporting This?'
Miners' Digest
Well, well, well, if it isn't another week of market chaos that makes mining seem like a sensible career choice. Let's dive into the carnage, shall we? Pyerite is taking a nosedive everywhere—Jita's down 15%, Amarr's plummeting 21% (ouch), and Hek's just casually losing 16%. Someone's clearly dumping stock, or maybe everyone suddenly realized pyerite is just space gravel. Meanwhile, Isogen in Hek is having a wild party with a 15.5% surge—either someone's building a secret superweapon, or the locals discovered it's good for seasoning food. Over in Amarr, Morphite's up 12%, because nothing says 'stable market' like a mineral that swings harder than a drunken pirate. And let's not ignore Megacyte in Hek, crashing 12.9% like it just remembered it's not actually rare. Jita's being... well, Jita, with Tritanium rising a whole 1.2%—try not to faint from excitement. Stay sharp, miners, because the only thing predictable here is unpredictability.